I Hate My Condo

You look at this picture and you’d think it was this awesome place to stay.

Looks great, expensive and well who wouldn’t want to live there right. It’s Philly, on the Delaware River and all that jazz. But just wait.

Let’s begin with global positioning. Just look at this.

I’m 20 minutes of walking away from anything, even a convenience store. So if I just want a bottle of milk, I have to plan to lose an hour or take a cab, movies, same, restaurant, again the same. Very annoying.

One internet access point: We share the condo, we are always away from friends and family, you’d think they be smart enough to supply Wireless Access Points. But then they installed VCRs under the TV. Who the fuck uses VCRs anymore? The battle over HD DVD formats has been won already and I get a VCR in my living room?

Then the condo made room for us and rented whatever furniture they could. I don’t care that my kitchen table is butt ugly, it’s not mine. What I do care about is that my bed is stiffer than a slate of well aligned two-by-fours. I start my day in pain then head to a Cirque du Soleil site where I stand all day in steel-toe boots. Fun.

It’s getting pretty warm here in Philly so the AC is de rigueur. No problem right? Only it sounds like a jet engine when left on and if you put it on auto, sounds like a Harrier Jump Jet taking off or landing.

At this point you say to yourself fuck this shit I’m opening my patio door and letting the fresh air come in instead, well that would be to ease were it not for the fucking heliport on the next peer. FUCKING HELICOPTERS taking off and landing at all times. OH COME ON!

Venting Over