Moline Ephemera

You Silly Canadians.

This week as we were setting up in the arena, I asked our caterer for some gaffe tape so I could keep the door to the balcony open so I could get some air. “You silly Canadians, always need to go outside as soon as you don’t see your breath anymore” he tells me. Which is so true, the snow just gives an impression it’s gonna melt and outside we go. But this leads me to an observation about Americans. How come they never go out? I’ve been to too many towns in my Circus adventures and they are always hauntingly quiet and well, dull. Not the big cities mind you but still, where’s the life? Where I’m from you can’t see the sidewalks on a Monday evening, in most towns I visit I can’t see signs of life, open restaurants or anything with human beings in them.

Twinkies

I had my first Twinkies last night and I can’t for the life of me, begin to understand how anyone can consume such abject repugnant ingredients that don’t even pass as food. It is by far the most horrible junk food item I have ever eaten in my life. I felt like puking a la Gordon Ramsay on Hell’s Kitchen. And people deep fry this shit… what the fuck?

Chicken Fried Steak

Not so awesome. Takes hours to process.

TGIFridays

Kill me now but I actually enjoyed eating at one of those disgustipating family restaurant chains. But those pork Pot Stickers were just delicious and the ribs were better than decent, though not insanely good. And they made a mean Long Island.