Why you are 40 and still working at Future Shop.

The Short of it? Because you are a fucking moron. You are a fucking moron who can’t do a fucking credit card transaction and then has the fucking balls to tell me out loud in front of people that my card is over the limit. Say what motherfucker?

Turns out that for the second time in less than a year my transactions are authorized by VISA – and also double charged – but denied by Future Shop’s transactional system and the dipshit salesman tells me my fucking gold card is over the limit. Hey Asswipe…BITE ME – I’m spending hundreds of dollars here, not buying a DVD of X-men.

You know why you are 40 years old and still work at Future Shop selling air conditioners… because you can’t even fucking operate a credit card terminal without fucking it up. Because when the client – me – is in need of your assistance to resolve this issue, you prefer running off to see other customers to get your fucking sales. Because you can’t believe that a transaction can be authorized without the system’s go ahead. Because you don’t know who to fucking call when the shit hits the fan. Because you are yet another fucking loser who just barely has enough competence to accomplish his daily tasks to the bare required minimum by his employer and pass skill-set evaluation and get the wage increase default. And when you are driven around by customers your eyes fill with panic and you run away, you sir would be the weakling weeded out by predators would humans not sit atop the food chain.

Now because of your dumbassery what would have been a 15 minute endeavor – because when I shop it’s quick and dirty, I swoop in grab what I planned to buy, pay and get the fuck out because I HATE SHOPPING – will now be drawn out to what seems to be a four day long clusterfuck because you are such a cretin of epic proportions that a credit card transaction completely short-circuits your fragile brain.

Meanwhile it’s fucking HOT AND HUMID in my apartment. Damn You Future Shop.

Dead Trees: A Book List for 2009 (Update IV)

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“He that loves a book will never want a faithful friend, a wholesome counselor, a cheerful companion, an effectual comforter. By study, by reading, by thinking, one may innocently divert and pleasantly entertain himself, as in all weathers, as in all fortunes.”
- Barrow

This is the 2009 Book List. Last year was a total fail due to an insane amount of events in my personal life which lead me to put the book down. It was torture. But now I’m back on schedule with so many books I want to read I won’t have enough time as usual. I’ve also joined the Readernaut social network site, which is Twitter for bookworms where you can have your library online as well as your lists and connect with other bookworms and discuss bookwormy things.

Some Dead Trees related Links:

• Dead Trees: A Book List for 2007
• Dead Trees: A Book List for 2008
• My Readernaut Profile

Update IV : June 14th 2009

American Nerd: The Story of My People
by Benjamin Nugent

This book started out with a 5 star rating because it went to the root cause of nerdity; anti-immigration, anti-Semitism; muscle-Christianism and America’s tough guy attitude. And Benjamin Nugent went far back in history to make his point and going through literatures first nerds and even going through an intense birthing sequence of the very word NERD. The second part of the book promised to be a psychological profile of nerds but instead revolved around the authors own life experiences which is permeated with Dungeons and Dragons, boffing and Fantasy lit., something that I never took an interest in but yet a Nerd I still am but seems to be part of the nerd-building process for the Author. But it was still a consuming read and I thoroughly enjoyed it for the most part.

Update III : June 9th 2009

Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy (Popular Culture and Philosophy) (Paperback)
by Josef Steiff (Editor), Tristan D. Tamplin (Editor)

A more competent book than the other book on Cylon Philosophy I read; Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy: Knowledge Here Begins Out There. The essays had more depth and felt less like they had armchair philosophers in mind. But then again the Feminazi Chapter had me furious and enraged as with all feminist chapters, but this one went over the top because BSG has nothing but strong women and no gender issues exist in the BSG universe and yet they found issues with Starbuck because somehow she’s not girly enough. No matter what, you can never win with feminists, but I digress. The book also had plenty of chapters linking the old and new BSG together with philosophy which was a good twist.

Update II : March 20th 2009

Battlestar Galactica and Philosophy: Knowledge Here Begins Out There
(The Blackwell Philosophy and Pop Culture Series)
by Jason T. Eberl (Editor)

An adequate book on Pop Culture philosophy treating the greatest Science-Fiction Franchise of all time (My humble opinion) but leans to heavily on the arm-chair philosophy than on the hardcore philosophy, I would have preferred something more in the middle, something more palatable. And a few chapters, treating on feminism, transhumanism and religion were intellectually dishonest and downright insulting and shouldn’t even appear in this book because they weren’t philosophy at all, but ideology. For a full review Click Here

Update I : February 10th 2009

Out of Control: The New Biology of Machines, Social Systems, & the Economic World

by Kevin Kelly

An update on the status of cybernetic research, or lack thereof. This book is one of the three books the main actors in The Matrix were obliged to read before taking on their roles. Yes my Matrix-mania knows no end. But this book is brilliant on many aspects. It’s about evolution, not our evolution, but rather how we, in the face of increasing complexity of software and hardware, will have to create software and hardware with evolvable properties for technologie to continue forward. It also hints that perhaps we are simply an evolutionnary step to imbue life into the lifeless, because life only want to replicate and propagate. Very intense reading.

Garage Café Review

Garage Café

I’m still trying to discover new places to get some decent grub in my neighborhood but Verdun is not so easy. The area is replete with 99¢ pizza joints and littered with hot-dog stops. Respectable feeding is hard to come by.

But they’re around and slowly I’ll tread the waters. The other day I tried the Garage Café, a Pizza slash burger slash pasta restaurant. Reassuringly the place was packed and people were standing outside drinking. The place looks like the neighborhood food stop filled with regulars that simply walked to get there.

The décor is a bit patchy but has flair of its own, service is friendly but a bit slow but they try with all the traffic. The menu is varied but offers nothing innovating yet isn’t boring either. Fun comfort food to have with beer, wine or sangria.

As is often the case, I’m in no mood for alcohol after work (Unless I’m not working the next day) so I ordered a Coca-cola and this was the interesting part, they serve it in a Mason jar that has a handle on it. Loved the idea so much I want some of my own now.

Not feeling the pasta menu because it’s my fall-back plan when I don’t know what to prepare for myself at home I hit the Burger Menu, something I never get bored of. I love a good burger so much I’d eat one for breakfast and I have in the past thanks to American Diners. So I went for the Four By Four.

The Four by Four is a healthy helping of Beef (of course) and Philly Cream Cheese, Bacon and fried Mushrooms and Onions. All ingredients I simply can’t get enough of. Sadly I didn’t get enough of. The patty was a whopper but seriously if you’re gonna be a restaurant called the GARAGE CAFÉ, to me it seems like a grease monkey wouldn’t eat a flimsy burger and with the price, gimme something to chew on.

Burger 101: A burger must be meaty, juicy, greasy and yes a sloppy mess. But also it’s gotta be heavy on the toppings and I’m not talking ketchup.

If you tell me you’re gonna put some Philly Cream cheese, don’t scrape it on; slather it on thick. The mushrooms? I want them flowing from the sides. And the bacon… the bacon. How many times have I said this? Life has no meaning without bacon. This was the big epic FAIL of this Burger that coulda-been. When I go to my local La Belle Province – often derided for being the bottom of the barrel of fast food restaurants in Montreal – and order a bacon-cheese burger, the cook takes out 3 or 4 slices of fresh uncooked bacon and drops them on the grill before taking out the fresh burger patties and then making me a super fresh and tasty messy sloppy burger. But at Garage Café, I got one tiny slice of pre-cooked bacon. Come On! And the patty was to perfectly round and well shaped to be freshly prepared.

The fries were pretty damn tasty though and it was served with a side of very tangy and spicy mayonnaise that added some serious punch to the burger. The burger wasn’t bad in the final analysis it just could have easily been an out of this world kick-ass burger with a few simple steps.

3 buns outta 5

Garage Café
275, rue Hickson,
Verdun, QC, CAN
H4G 2J7
514-768-4630

SUCK IT GUZZO! – VICTORY FOR THE LITTLE GUY

At long last we have a victory for the side of privacy against the big business trying desperately to make a buck and if this means going through your bags for snacks under the guise of searching for camera equipment well so be it. Well little Vinny Guzzo got bitch slapped this week for invading the very private life of women at their store. And all I can find to say is SUCK IT VINNY, SUCK IT HARD and LONG and GAG on it.

You talked hard and talked a lot of smack about Hollywood cutting you out if you didn’t do these searches when there were so many other options to preventing piracy other than violating your clienteles’ privacy. You managed to bag one individual in the process and it wasn’t even through these invasive searches. And you went one with searches despite law C-59 which stated that a person could basically set up a tripod and a camera and turn the thing on, as long as he didn’t record.

But despite being slapped with a 10 000$ fine he says he’ll continue with the searching of bags. The mother won the case after her daughter’s contraceptive pills were taken out of the bag – mom didn’t know about them. Now that’s not the kind of thing that should be happening and that’s the kind of thing I warned about in my previous blogs.

What’s Vinny’s logic? Don’t bring your bag in the theater. RIGHT! Not everyone gets there by car you DUMBASS. Let’s just leave our shit by the curb. It’s safe right? Women should leave their purses in the car. But how will they pay for your crap food? It doesn’t take an idiot – like you -  to understand that your goal in all this is not to stop piracy but t prevent people from importing foods and drink to force them to buy your cheap uneatable overpriced crap.

Well you Corleone-looking greaser wannabe I hope people stop going to your theaters like I did. Besides your theaters kinda smell, the popcorn sucks, the service blows and with all the riffraff in there it’s impossible to enjoy a movie. Seriously, I don’t normally wish this crap on people, but I wouldn’t shed a fucking tear to see your business go down in flames. You’re an insult to democracy, freedom and respect of privacy.

Neighbors – Epic Facepalm

I have this neighbor who doesn’t understand that this building we live in has thin walls, that blasting music late at night thin walls or not is not acceptable. I’ve tried diplomacy, calling the cops, ringing doorbells that went unanswered and tonight again BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Last time I called the cop only to have her daughter’s boyfriend pull the same deal on me the next when not even a light was on in my apartment because I had just gotten home from dinner with friends. Really funny. Before it escalated I tried one last time to talk to the mom. Things looked ok. She admitted to her daughter and her boyfriend trying to get back at me. It’s enough that I have to hear her daughter scream like a litter of puppies when she’s fucking her boyfriend and this wakes me up all the time. But the music is simply beyond annoying because I can’t read, watch TV or just rest. It resonates everywhere.

After my last discussion with the mom I thought the problem was fixed, until tonight that is.  I thumped the floor, the music stopped, only to start up again. I decided to be nice and go ring the bell. Well this was unexpected, some douchebag with his shirt unbuttoned to low even by the 1970’s standards with an unlit cigarette opens the door and tries to intimidate me with all of his 5 feet and 7 inches (that’s WITH the hair) I felt like laughing.

Here we go again, some macho moron is gonna go all out full salvo testosterone overload and try to prove what a man he is. Can I start yawning now? I don’t even bother with small fries, I just look at the mom and ask her to please lower the volume and she says no problem. Meanwhile shortstack wants some attention and is insistent.

Shortstack: “Who are you?”

ME:”The dude upstairs, I just want you guys to take it down a few notches thanks”

Shortstack:”And what time is it?”

ME:”Time to take down the volume”

Shortstack:”It’s not even eleven yet…”

ME:”Dude that’s a myth, ok?”

The Mom:”It’s OK we’ll take it down”

Shortstack:”So you’re the guy who called the cops?”

ME:”Yeah yeah that’s me”

Shortstack:”I just want to know who I’m dealing with”

ME:”The guy upstairs, see ya”

Shortstack obviously has a temper because this all happened at 10pm and it’s now 11pm and I can still hear him screaming downstairs, which only makes me laugh. Come on dude it’s all about respecting your neighbors, I’m not asking you to sacrifice your firstborn. More thumping and screaming as I write.

I just know he’s gonna try to pull something, because macho pricks like him always have to have the last word. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

PRE-POST UPDATE: Shorstack came to see me. We tested the sound and they will keep it low. Weird. Weird…. Just fucking Weird. I don’t get people.

Katz Déli à L’Ancienne

When it’s nice outside, Montrealers run out and play, this goes for lunch time also. My favourite Deli was PACKED because of said nice weather. So we headed of to Katz Deli at the Place Ville Marie. Because we wanted a Reuben Sandwich and that was the plan we were sticking too.

The place looks like it must have looked 40 years ago but it’s clean and maintained and looked like every generic restaurant looked like when I was a kid but it had this nostalgic feel to it.

Now there’s not much to say here because we had our grub and left. It wasn’t a culinary exploration of any sort. But they had a twist on the Reuben Sandwich which I didn’t expect but I loved it anyway.

They made it an open faced sandwich where you have the usual Russian dressing, the krout, the smoked-meat and then a heaping pile of cheese the whole thing is salamandered until the cheese is nice and toasty, some fries are added and raw veggies.

It Kinda Looked like This

Making things better… they have CHERRY COKE. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Reuben’s remains my kick ass Deli but this was definitely a tasty twist I wont shy from biting into again.

Katz Déli à L’Ancienne Inc
1 Pl Ville Marie, Montréal, QC
H3B 3Y1
Telephone : 514-878-3025

Méchant Bœuf Part II: Taking it Back

After my first visit at Mechant Boeuf I gave it a pretty damn good review. Well I’m gonna take most of what I said BACK. Because this week I went back for a friend’ birthday dinner party and I almost choked on the level of crap I witnessed at this restaurant. Things have changed.

THE GOOD

As an entrée I combo-ed two of them after I saw the same dish fly by to another table and the waiter was kind of forced to comply with my request. I had the Sliders which they call the Burger Flight and with Charlevoix Poutine with braised pork, Migneron cheese. I must admit that the sliders were awesome with the little tangy mayonnaise, cherry-tomatoes and perfectly tasting meat. And the poutine was very good as usual. The service was still very friendly and casual. The Good ends there.

THE BAD

Anyone who knows me, knows I live for steak. If you wrap it up with bacon its even better, if you slather it with Foie Gras sauce, I have a complete mental collapse from the goddness. This is what they offered.

In my previous review I raved about their Foie Gras sauce but the restaurateurs went and changed it to save of food-cost most likely and cut it down with pepper sauce. It completely changed the sauce and ruined it making the appeal of the main fly away like a bird.

Next up was what I dunk in my sauce, the steak. I love eating meat, show me a way I’ve never eaten before and I’ll try it. But the good ol’ standards stick with me and a tasty steak tops the list. I’ve had steak all over North America. There’s only one way to eat steak and properly enjoy its flavor, its texture, its juices and that’s RARE. You can eat Flank Steak and if it’s properly prepared it’ll be tender despite being the toughest but yet most flavorful cut of meat.

I ordered a NY strip rare and what I got was a piece of rubber I could hardly cut through without having the steak slip and sliding all over my plate. Chewing? That was impossible. I wanted to install a mandibular grinder to pre-grind my meat for me. So impossibly chewy steak with disgustingly peppery Foie Gras sauce. But WAIT, it’s gets better?

THE UGLY

I of course called up the waiter to complained about the rubber boot on my plate and this is where it gets sad and yet funny. The waiter goes and talks with the manager about the situation and comes back to tell me that it’s normal for rare steak to be chewy. WHAT THE FUCK? WHEN DID THIS WARP IN THE UNIVERSE HAPPEN? Talk about crappy client service, piss poor knowledge of meat preparation and total lack of respect. In most restaurants where I pay 40$ for a piece of crap meat, the manager has the decency to come over to my table and talk to me personally and makes a deal. This time no deal other than to re-fire my steak, which duh, would have given me a medium steak and a steak that has already cooled down after cooking cannot be re-heated. Go ahead and try it, it’s horrible because it boils the meat.

Someone else at my table ordered the Pan-Seared Foie Gras at 13$ a pop. This was the biggest joke of the night. It was barely a quarter of a liver and it was burnt to a crisp. I wanted to scream bloody murder. If it weren’t for the fact that it was my friend’s birthday party I would have exploded.

This is obviously a case of retards with no experience who have no place opening a restaurant who decided to open the next trendy go-to hot spot. All form and no function. It looks cool, it’s pretty, it’s trendy but the food is horrible. Méchant Bœuf can sling some tasty burgers but that’s where they peak.

Méchant Bœuf Bar & Brasserie
124 St-Paul West
Montréal, QC H2Y 1Z3
(514) 788-4020
www.mechantboeuf.com