KIDS, LEARN MATH IT COULD SAVE YOU…
Problem:
A 120 pound teenager needs to go through a doorway in the Montreal subway entrance. He decides to move between a 285 pound man and a brick wall without ever attempting to slow down his brisk space. Calculate the probabilities of the teenager making it through without being crushed like a bug considering that there is approximately one foot of space between the man and the wall.
Calculate:
Answer:
Teenager was spin-rolled and then painfully crushed. Low body weight will have the teenager unable to move large object no matter what the initial momentum was and cause bodily harm. Large Object doesn’t give a shit.
ELECTION WTF-NESS
TREMBLAY WINS AND IT’S THE NON-VOTERS FAULT
But yet I’m not surprised. ProjetMontreal is an unproven team and yet they still received a good chunk of the votes. Louise Harel; did anyone but those PQ dreamers ever think that a person who cannot speak English – in a multicultural city like Montreal with a vastly ethnically diversified citizenship and with French no longer the most spoken language – could possibly win? I’m actually surprised she came in second. Somewhere in there, those very few who went out to vote on a non-business day, many of them decided to punish Tremblay for the corruption that seemingly floods city hall.
To all those who abstained from voting; you got the mayor you deserve because since the majority of you didn’t step outside to vote and in democracy the majority wins, well this is all on you. Because of the non-voters we are now stuck with this ignoramus who cannot run a bath, much less a city. When the water system remains in this decrepit state and bursts every time the temperature goes below 20 remember it’s all on you. When the same corrupt contractors continue to get contract after contract and the honest business men continue to live under threat for simply trying to run a business, it’s all on you. When your taxes rise because these corrupt contractors have to be paid, it’s all on you.
RDI – NO IT’S NOT SEXISM
Yes there’s still work to do for women’s rights. Nothing is perfect. I wish there were more women in power to…well balance the power. Women bring their qualities to the table which would complement the qualities that men bring to it. But as Boisbriand’s mayor shows, women can also be just as corrupt as men and that’s simply no secret.
But this morning Marie-Josée Bouchard (Can’t stand her smug bitchy demeanor), host of RDI Matin said “Y’a encore du chemin a faire” (Still a lot of work to be done) concerning Caroline St-Hilaire’s win as the first women elected mayor in Longueuil I felt confused.
Will the work be complete once all mayors are women simultaneously? Really? Because last I looked there weren’t that many women running for office and they can’t all get elected either. Because voters decide – and their cognitive functions will be debated in the next section – on programs not on gender. Last I looked also, women vote also and I’m sure they don’t all automatically vote for women in some misplaced sisterly support. I tend to trust women’s objectivity more than men because men will appoint illiterate former hockey coaches to the senate simply because they love hockey. Despite trying to circumvent the entire democratic process by not holding elections she still received 47% of the vote. Which is astounding and scary. How people can vote for a candidate who attempted to annul elections in collusion with a dirty contractor (see it’s not only Montreal) is completely beyond me. And people think Mayor Tremblay is corrupt.
THE GREEN MOVEMENT WILL NEVER WORK.
You want to know why the green movement is pre-destined to fail? Because the average Joe is a fucking moron. People are stupid dumbass monkeys who deserve the poo flung in their faces. The ecology will suffer because nostalgic retards don’t want to see the wind-farms; it hurts their eyes. Trees will continue to get chopped down at an unsustainable rate because inconsequential dickheads just have to print every damn email they receive. But then things get weird.
In Québec, Regis Labaume won by a massive tsunami-like landslide and good for him. I always said we need more passionate and intense politicians. Sure he’s goofy at times but damn it look at everything he’s achieved in Quebec City. He’s a fighter and I like fighters. But that’s not the crazy part.
The crazy please-drive-a-nail-in-my-head moment comes when I notice second and third place.
The Green Party – Defi Vert de Québec – got beat out by the intellectually bankrupt Jeff Fillion, best known for slandering Sophie Chiasson as a whore, a cat in heat whose IQ was inversely proportionate to the size of her breasts and that she used her “charms” and sex to get ahead in her profession. The courts found him guilty of being a real dick and said that Fillion’s comments were ”sexist, mean, incited hatred, were without cause, wounding and injurious. These comments are a threat to the dignity and honour of human kind in general and particularly to Miss Chiasson”
I cannot believe that over 16 000 retards voted for this abject failure of a human being and essentially beat out a party that ran on a green program. I ask this of the voters: What the fuck were you thinking? The fact that 16 000 idiots voted for him – not counting those who would have, had they gotten off their lazy asses to vote – scares me. It really explains why nothing ever gets done and done right. It’s not just because of the ineffectual elected but because of the mass amount of completely idiotic douchebag citizenship that entertains assholes like Fillion as a good candidate for the mayor of a city like Quebec.
A lot of whinners constantly complain that they have no voice. They can bite me. If people want to change things, stop corruption, get what they pay for, well time to go vote. To late now suckers we’re stuck with the elected because no one went out to vote.
Of Douchebags and Douchebagery.
There’s a few douches I’ve been meaning to comment about and one of them used to be my hero.
LINDSEY GRAHAM
Dude you are so gay, just come out of that closet already. Every time you show up on the news, gaydars all around this world explode. More seriously you are pro-defense of marriage act which is an insult to all your gay compadres in America. You defend Guantanamo’s existence by saying “We had 450,000 Japanese and German prisoners housed in the United States during World War II. As a nation, we can deal with this.” on a CNN interview in May of 2009. You gave up on democracy when you prevented filibustering in the senate.
RICHARD HEENE – Balloon Dad.
Really I think you will go down as a massive douchebag in the history books written on douchbags. Pulling this hoax to make everyone believe your kid was in a balloon floating away, all the resources dispatched to save the balloon, making your kids puke from having to lie so much. You sir, are not just a douchebag but also a fucking retard.
BILL MAHER
Yeah really. I never thought I would say this. But Bill, you started believing your own hype. You became my hero the day you jumped into your own studio audience to personally remove a “truther” who was heckling you.
At that moment you became a demigod the likes of George Carlin beating verbally beating down a heckler and the following bit is a fucking classic:
Bu back to Bill Maher. You made Religulous and it was brilliant and I think your head started to inflate this season from the insane amount of ego packed in there. You also begun your new crusade, blame the sick for being sick because you think everyone’s a fucking moron and that everyone is responsible for everything that happens to them. And then you proceeded to bully as many o your guests as possible to give you the answer you wanted to hear, your philosophy on nutrition. Just like every other libertarian fucktard out there who believes in absolute personal responsibility you got it all wrong. You fail to understand that people are just that, people and that people are the end product of experience, environment, biology, the way they were raised, education and everything else that can influence the making of a person and it’s for that reason that I reject libertarianism.
But then it got even worse, you went on, on a rant about the evils of vaccination because corporations make the vaccine. This is where you flew into the douchebag stratosphere. Really are you gonna be this chick?
Minus the massively awesome rack of course. Come on dude, don’t be that guy.
Your douchbagery went so far that your own guests almost ridiculed you off your own stage. It began with a debate with Senator Bill Frist, sure he’s a republican, but he’s also a physician. And Maher bullies him into the nutrition argument again. No surprise he’s on the board of PETA (fucking morons here to)
His argument that medicine misses a lot. Someone’s watching too much House M.D. But his kookery wouldn’t end there with the vaccine conspiracy. The next week he went on and on about and his guests mocked him to no end for his sophomoric knowledge of medicine.
To add insult to career suicide, Michael Shermer even wrote an open letter to him. Now if you don’t know who Shermer is, he’s an American science writer, historian of science, founder of The Skeptics Society, and Editor in Chief of its magazine Skeptic, which is largely devoted to investigating and debunking pseudoscientific and supernatural claims. In his letter Shermer completely owns Maher.
An Open Letter to Bill Maher on Vaccinations
From a Fellow Skeptic
By Michael Shermer
Editor of Skeptic magazine and “Skeptic” columnist for Scientific American
Dear Bill,
Years ago you invited me to appear as a fellow skeptic several times on your ABC show Politically Incorrect, and I have ever since shared your skepticism on so many matters important to both of us: creationism and intelligent design, religious supernaturalism and New Age paranormal piffle, 9/11 “truthers”, Obama “birthers”, and all manner of conspiratorial codswallop. On these matters, and many others, you rightly deserved the Richard Dawkins Award from Atheist Alliance International.
However, I believe that when it comes to alternative medicine in general and vaccinations in particular you have fallen prey to the same cognitive biases and conspiratorial thinking that you have so astutely identified in others. In fact, the very principle of how vaccinations work is additional proof (as if we needed more) against the creationists that evolution happened and that natural selection is real: vaccinations work by tricking the body’s immune system into thinking that it has already had the disease for which the vaccination was given. Our immune system “adapts” to the invading pathogens and “evolves” to fight them, such that when it encounters a biologically similar pathogen (which itself may have evolved) it has in its armory the weapons needed to fight it. This is why many of us born in the 1950s and before may already have some immunity against the H1N1 flu because of its genetic similarity to earlier influenza viruses, and why many of those born after really should get vaccinated.
Vaccinations are not 100% effective, nor are they risk free. But the benefits far outweigh the risks, and when communities in the U.S. and the U.K. in recent years have foregone vaccinations in large numbers, herd immunity is lost and communicable diseases have come roaring back. This is yet another example of evolution at work, but in this case it is working against us. (See www.sciencebasedmedicine.org for numerous articles answering every one of the objections to vaccinations.)
Vaccination is one of science’s greatest discoveries. It is with considerable irony, then, that as a full-throated opponent of the nonsense that calls itself Intelligent Design, your anti-vaccination stance makes you something of an anti-evolutionist. Since you have been so vocal in your defense of the theory of evolution, I implore you to be consistent in your support of the theory across all domains and to please reconsider your position on vaccinations. It was not unreasonable to be a vaccination skeptic in the 1880s, which the co-discovered of natural selection—Alfred Russel Wallace—was, but we’ve learned a lot over the past century. Evolution explains why vaccinations work. Please stop denying evolution in this special case.
As well, Bill, your comments about not wanting to “trust the government” to inject us with a potentially deadly virus, along with many comments you have made about “big pharma” being in cahoots with the AMA and the CDC to keep us sick in the name of corporate profits is, in every way that matters, indistinguishable from 9/11 conspiracy mongering. Your brilliant line about how we know that the Bush administration did not orchestrate 9/11 (“because it worked”), applies here: the idea that dozens or hundreds pharmaceutical executives, AMA directors, CDC doctors, and corporate CEOs could pull off a conspiracy to keep us all sick in the name of money and power makes about as much sense as believing that Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and their bureaucratic apparatchiks planted explosive devices in the World Trade Center and flew remote controlled planes into the buildings.
Finally, Bill, please consider the odd juxtaposition of your enthusiastic support for health care reform and government intervention into this aspect of our medical lives, with your skepticism that these same people—when it comes to vaccinations and disease prevention—suddenly lose their sense of morality along with their medical training. You excoriate the political right for not trusting the government with our health, and then in the next breath you inadvertently join their chorus when you denounce vaccinations, thereby adding fodder for their ideological cannons. Please remember that it’s the same people administrating both health care and vaccination programs.
One of the most remarkable features of science is that it often leads its practitioners to change their minds and to say “I was wrong.” Perhaps we don’t do it enough, as our own blinders and egos can get in the way, but it does happen, and it certainly happens a lot more in science than it does in religion or politics. I’ve done it. I used to be a global warming skeptic, but I reconsidered the evidence and announced in Scientific American that I was wrong. Please reconsider both the evidence for vaccinations, as well as the inconsistencies in your position, and think about doing one of the bravest and most honorable things any critical thinker can do, and that is to publicly state, “I changed my mind. I was wrong.”
With respect,
Michael Shermer
Bill do yourself a favor and stop smoking so much weed, this year you went from reasoned ideologue (and I sorta let that ideologue part because you brought good arguments) to total douchebag. And this in a few short months. You actually lost me as a viewer as I cannot stomach that kind of lunatic conspiracy crap that only 2 years ago you kicked parts of your audience out for doing the very same.
ZOMBIELAND : A Review
Well this is a bit late, as I saw this movie weeks ago but I’ve been busy.
Ever see a movie trailer and it just rocks your world so completly you can’t imagine the movie not sucking? Some trailers even give geek-wood. And then you see the movie and it blows so badly you can’t help thinking the trailer was for another movie and not this pile of heaping shit I just witnessed. I’m sure we all have this experience. Trailers are made to make you wet yourself in anticipation of what looks like an awesome movie. But truth is very often these trailers are edited with preliminary scenes of a movie that’s barely 10% completed. And so often also, you will see scenes that become editing room floor fodder. Meet the trailer…
Well if you thought that was cool you have to understand that the opening sequence alone to this movie rocks 40 times more than the trailer. No really. Any movie with such a rockin opener, perfect 3d opening credits and for the cherry on the top, Metallica’s For whom the bell tolls busting the speakers as Zombies attack everytown-America. It’s just awesome. And I have to say it…. Metal up your ass. Just check it out below (low quality but just pure awesome)
Woody Harrelson was born for this role. I haven’t seen him this cool since Natural Born Killers. Jesse Eisenberg is once again the perpetual virgin. I like this actor but he’s getting a bit typecast. As for the rest of the small cast, can’t say much because I don’t know them other than recognizing the girl from Little Miss Sunshine but they seriously brought their a-game to this movie.
The story is pretty much what you’d expect from a Zombie movie except it’s exceptionally good, brilliant even. Fast-paced and tightly edited it just brings the fun back into taking a boomstick to flesh eating zombies – a dried up and bland horror theme. No one has real names, they are all named after the city they come from, I guess as some sort of badge of honor for surviving the zombie mayhem. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) has these sets of rules for surviving the holocaust, masterfully explored in the beginning of the movie as we see how the fatties were the first to die because they couldn’t run fast enough. But they are used as a running gag throughout the movie – when an event happens to prove his rule we see the rule pop-up on the screen giving the whole film a “Surviving The Zombie Holocaust” Primer or Guide Book.
The rules are as follows:
01. Cardio.
02. Double tap.
03. Beware of bathrooms.
04. Seatbelts.
05. check the back seat.
06. Cast iron skillet.
07. Travel light.
12. Bounty paper towels.
15. Bowling ball.
17. (Don’t) Be a hero.
18. Limber up.
22. When in doubt, know your way out.
29. The buddy system.
31. Check the back seat.
32. Enjoy the little things.
33. Swiss Army Knife.
You can see the rest of them – though the list is incomplete – at Zombieland.com with YouTubey-goodness. You can just tell they left the list half empty for the sequel.
More running gags include Tallahassee’s unstoppable quest for the Last Twinkie. So think Zombieland, Twinkies, Ghostbusters and Twinkies and what you get is probably the funniest cameo ever with Bill Murray, playing Bill Murray. I won’t say more but truly hilarious. The boys keep getting hijacked by the girls and of course there’s some hilarious Zombie Kill of the Week sequence. Zombie strippers running around town with money still in there string, fat redneck zombies, child zombies getting whacked… the fun never stops.
Did I mention what is probably the most rockin’ soundtrack ever compiled? Ok maybe not the best, but the music is always a propos to the scene.
I’m not gonna tell ya the story because seriously it’s not that taxing. Zombies everywhere; must make it out alive. OK there’s more to it and of course the virgin falls in love with missy bad girl and the redneck has an interesting back story. But what’s more important here is that this is to be the movie where I had the most fun and made me laugh a lot in a very, very long time and for a cynical movie lover and hater like me that says a lot. It’s just a great fun story, superbly well directed and acted with an awesome soundtrack and more blood and violence than en entire CSI season.
4 Twinkies out of 5.
Where the Wild Things Are Reviewed.
Let’s begin with “They could write a Psych Thesis about this movie”. That’s how profound and psychological “Where The Wild Things Are” is. I didn’t know quite what to expect from this movie other than the geek in me went completely ape-shit when I first saw the trailer.
That’s it, I was done. I knew somehow that this movie would be brilliant, how could it not be? Well it could have been, Hollywood has been manufacturing crap on a masterful level. But I wasn’t prepared for what followed. I thought I would watch a child go to la-la-land on a voyage of self-discovery. Self Discovery it was but it just wasn’t a kid’s movie despite being based on a children’s book.
This film was about self-discovery in such a complex way that no child could understand the profundity of this story. All a child would see was funny furies jumping around but the darkness that follows is to bleak to comprehend and would ruin it.
I could be wrong but this movie wasn’t about a kid going to some never-neverland but I believe this story to be about a mental break for a child not running on all cylinders. It begins with a child out of control running down the family dog leaving the viewer surprised the pooch would even survive. Max has temper issues – if left unchecked would probably result in criminal behavior further down the road – stemming from abandonment issues made apparent when he lashes out at her mother’s new boyfriend, yelling “you are not my father” and running away from home until he finds a small boat and embarks and drifts unto the island where the wild things are.
From there it gets really whacky. Max meets up with the wild things and becomes their king after lying to them about having great powers. But from the beginning we notice that not all is right the wild things. Carol is fighting with KW, Judith is always looking for the negative side of things, the bull never speaks, no ever hears to Alexander. After rumpuses, piles, howling at the sun things begin to break down. As they work on building this sublime fort to live in we begin to notice that Judith is very jealous and threatens Max.
Max tries to mend the group with a game of war but things turn ugly and Max’s ability to lead is put into question and they quickly turn on him. Alexander has Max confess to him that he’s not really a king to which he says don’t let Carol find out. From this point Max becomes fearful and the kingdom begins to crumble. Carol loses his temper at Max wanting to have a small room for him to hide in thus breaking his promise of sleeping in piles. From then Carol begins to lose control and tears Douglas’ arm off. Soon after – to leave out the rest of the story – Max decides to go back home.
But what’s truly happening is that the wild things are archetypical projections of Max’s character facets. His uncontrollable rage is found in Carol, his inability to be heard by his sister is found in Alexander, his inability to explain himself, to communicate is found in Ira, His strength found in the bull and so forth. And what happens on the island where the wild things are represent his inner turmoil in dealing with reality and the people that surround him. It depicts how his self-destructive behavior cannot end positively. Ultimately it’s about letting go of the primal anger and jealousy and coming to terms with becoming a person, finding family and love… and a hot bowl of Mom’s soup. You laugh but men know that nothing beats mom’s home cooking; it’s all about the care that goes into it.
I can’t wait to read “Where the Wild Things Are and Philosophy”. What? That’s not a book you say? Oh it will be, it will be. There’s material in this film to philosophize about for more than one tome that’s for sure. C.G. Jung would have a field day with this story. The Furies will think this movie is porn made for them, but in truth it’s an incredibly deep and touching story about what’s in all of us and often remains unexpressed.
An easy 5 furry stars out of 5 for this magical masterpiece.
Conservatives : Jobs First, Health… whatever.
Only in the Conservative Mindset is it acceptable to save jobs in the Tobacco Industry even if it means amending laws to prevent Big Tobacco to market to youth by adding fruity flavors to their coffin nails.
“Freedom of choice is a fundamental principle in a civilized society. We can think what we want about the act of smoking (personally, I don’t smoke), but it remains legal,” Bernier wrote on his blog.
Of course Conservatives say it’s a question of freedom of choice. But can you really have choice when the options are a danger to your health? This isn’t about democracy. Because if you asked the masses if they still wanted to pay taxes we all know what the answer would be so of course we don’t leave that up to the masses. So if we had left the tobacco laws to the rule of masses we would still be breathing that smoke in offices, hospitals and restaurants. Laws don’t exist because the masses agreed; they exist to keep the masses honest. Without laws we’d all be poo-flinging monkeys up in trees.
But of course, in the name of saving jobs and keep their corporate contributions coming, the Conservatives would most likely set fire to a litter of puppies in front of toddlers. Because it’s the economy stupid. So it comes to no real surprise to read
But Tories from Quebec pushed for changes after Rothmans warned it might have to rethink plans to expand its Quebec City plant – jeopardizing some 330 jobs – if the legislation passed without amendments.
The Quebec Conservative caucus, led by former foreign affairs minister Maxime Bernier, deemed the legislation too broad. (source)
Ok let’s be clear that the Rothmans plant is not about to close, sadly and that the loss of jobs is a loss of projected jobs due to a planned expansion. So the conservatives don’t want to save jobs, they want to expand the tobacco market. Expand the tobacco market? Are you fucking kidding me?
To be a true utilitarian let’s bring it down to simple math.
Smoking contributes to more than 37,000 deaths a year in Canada, of which almost 11,000 are heart disease and stroke-related (29% of all smoking-related deaths are heart disease and stroke-related).
Almost 6,300 non-smokers die each year from exposure to second-hand smoke.
Smoking is responsible for 14.54% of all heart disease and stroke deaths.
If current rates of tobacco use continue, approximately 1 million Canadians will die over the next 20 years as a direct result of smoking and second-hand smoke. (source)
If you had a choice between having even more people smoking and dying a slow-choke death like the already 37000 smoking related deaths over the next year or you could create 330 jobs in a dying industry, which would you chose? If you are intellectually honest you would axe Rothmans in a heartbeat. These jobs can be created in the Green industry which is something the conservatives are amazingly efficient at ignoring.
But then who would ever expect the conservative to learn math? They are too busy writing their agenda while they are still in power. The industry needs to die. It’s a cancer. So Rothmans wants to be bailed out by the government – which goes against the free market ideals of the conservative mindset – well I say let them die.
I can’t even understand, knowing everything that we know about smoking and its consequences how anyone with a moral compass can remain in the employment of these merchants of death anyway. And I don’t accept the Yuppie-Nuremberg defense as an excuse. I think all corporations have skeletons in their closets and yeah people gotta work. But this is to extreme. Might as well become a hitman, it’s the same thing, only in slow motion.
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